When I began my management responsibilities while in industry, it quickly became apparent that I had several hot buttons or “pet peeves” related to interactions with my employees. I was managing a R&D (Research and Development) lab and it did not seem to matter if the employees were part of the scientific/engineering staff or the administration of the facility, on a regular basis someone would hit one of my hot buttons. Over time I learned to control my reaction to these hot buttons and employees learned which items were particularly sensitive to me and we had a harmonious existence. But on reflection, I think that many managers have these same hot buttons and thus I want to share them in this blog. In summary, they are:
• “we have always done it that way”
• “but you let Sam Smith . . .” and my favorite,
• “that’s not my job” (or “that is not in my job description”)
Let’s take each one of these in turn, starting with the last one.
That Is Not In My Job Description – Actually, it probably is! There is a little phrase or oft ignored sentence at the bottom of every job description I have ever read that was written by a professional HR department that says “Complete other tasks as assigned . . .” But that is not really the point, is it? The point is that if your boss asks you to do something and your response is “that is not my job,” you are not likely to have ANY job much longer. And it is surprising how many people still say, or act like they want to say, this. Rolling your eyes, a stunned look or a grunt of disapproval are all proxies for this phrase! Of course there will be times when you need to push back and explain to your supervisor that you don’t have the time, resources, skills, ambition, or whatever to do a particular set of tasks. But I implore you, the first reaction out of your mouth when your boss asks you to do something should, be; “happy to help, when do you need that by?” If a job that you do not want to do comes up, I would urge you to go ahead and do it. Then, if it becomes a recurring theme, approach it just like you should approach any other problem with your boss; identify the problem and the solution and go to your boss with a proposal. Of course there will be plenty of times when your solution is not accepted by your boss and they continue to ask you to do jobs you do not want to do. In that case it may be time to move on, preferably with open dialogue about why, with an amicable departure, and with an understanding of the fact that you might well end up working together again in the future (as they say, it is a small world!).
But you gave Sam Smith . . . . – As your manager, I probably don’t care what I let Sam do or what I gave Sam when I am talking to you because his situation was different from yours. You should not care either! Rather, you should focus on the value you bring to the organization and why it is in the organizations best interest to agree to your request – not because they gave it to Sam Smith. Your manager can generally not discuss the details of what has happened with another person so it is unlikely that they can explain why there is a difference (and there usually is). More importantly, if you consistently prove your value to the organization over time, provide positive leadership with your actions, you are much more likely to receive the benefits of a top performer than if you complain about what you have not gotten relative to another employee. Don’t misunderstand this; you cannot sit back quietly and expect that good things will come your way. You need to speak up, volunteer for tough assignments, discuss concerns candidly (but in a positive manner), demonstrate leadership, etc.
Asking for something is generally not the problem; it is how you ask that is usually the issue. Every year I am surprised by the number of emails I receive from students that start in a negative and emotional way and end with a request! That is not a winning persuasion strategy. At the very least, acknowledge that there may be two sides to the story and that you may not be considering everything that your manager needs to consider. (As a manager you should look past the way an employee makes a request and simply assess the request on the basis of its merits. But as the employee making the request, you need to realize your managers are human and even if they are able to do this, you have just demonstrated your poor communication skills to them). Be genuine, don’t patronize your manager but try to put yourself in their place. What if you do all this right and still feel your manager is treating you unfairly or discriminating against you? Find a new manager. Generally it is beneficial to have a candid conversation with your manager first and determine if there is simply a misunderstanding but let’s face it, there are plenty of bad managers out there. There is not a single way to find a new manager. It can be in the same company it can be moving to a new organization. You may need to burn a bridge with your current manager or you may want to do it without “rocking the boat”. It really depends on the details. But whatever the situation, avoid phrases like “You gave Sam Smith….” Instead focused on the value you have provided to the organization and why they would be better off if they help you find the satisfying, exciting work that you desire. If they won’t, it is probably time to part ways.
We Have Always Done It That Way– When I ask an employee “Why are you doing that?” or some variation thereof, the last response I want to hear is “Because we have always done it that way.” (The common variation is “Should we change that?” and the response “But we have always done it that way.”) In fact, I cannot think of a single instance when this phrase has any relevance. Even in a manufacturing process where you do not change the process without lots of consideration, documentation and approvals, this phrase does not belong. The only thing this phrase does is indicate that you are not thinking about what you are doing and don’t understand the reasons for your actions. It also tends to indicate that you not continuously trying to improve the way things are done. (This relates to not optimizing your career described in my last blog). So even if your only alternative response is: “I don’t know”, this is infinitely better than “because we have always done it that way.”
The tendency to react with this phrase is understandable because most employees are uncomfortable with change. Change involves uncertainty and risk. In some companies, operating in this mode and even answering this way may be safer than changing the way a process is being done and making a mistake. Thus, it can feel natural to fall back to this crutch – you are not responsible because that is the way things have always been done! However, to really excel, you will need to take some considered risks and these should involve always trying to improve the way things are being done. Of course, you should understand the consequences if you are wrong, think through the changes carefully and know when you need to ask your supervisor and when you should just try it (Side bar: One of the skills I cherish in my direct reports is the ability to know when to ask permission and when to ask forgiveness. That is, those who have good judgment about what I will want to weigh in on before the try it and when I would rather not spend time weighing in on something before they just try it. No one gets this right 100% of the time – there are times when I wish even those employees who do this well would have checked in with me first but when that is the case, I am very careful not to overreact because it will cause them to come to me too frequently). So the next time you are not sure why you are doing something or why you are doing it in a particular way, find out! Better yet, find out and change it! Make it better, faster, cheaper, more efficient. Your boss will appreciate it.
Leave a Reply